Monday, September 29, 2003

ok i shall quit complaining cos monday turned out fine afterall.

on another note, my kid sister had a birthday and her friends nearly drove me mad! she had this party at the new restaurant in bishan park's pet place and the kids went wiiiiiiiiiiiiillllld.

they ran all over the place screeching like rabied animals and when the buffet food was served they all grabbed the food with their grubby hands and screeched some more. when it was time to blow the cake out the boys all huddled in another corner with their computer games ignoring my poor mothers pleas to come singasong. all in all tho my sister had a great time and a sackful of lovely presents. conclusion? 20 boys make for a horrible racket. i pity their poor teacher.

im going to borrow her new bingo machine and make some moneey..woowoo!

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I feel so crabby and angsty now..feel like cursing and swearing at everyone
I am have Tuesday work blues, yucks puke.

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seems like quite a few of the girlygang are having the blues now.......
stel, dun worry, i will give you a big hug....
gayle, hang in there...you just need to find a footing....

i think i'm PMSing.....i just pissed ben off... he's shut himself in his room and for once, i can't be bothered to go and apologise.... but i know in a while, i'm gonna feel shit for treating him liek that.....i think i'm in an extremely crabby mood

i wonder how mich is coping with a new life now...

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Sunday, September 28, 2003

im feeling super crabby right now. >:(
its the its sunday anticipating-monday blues...i neeeeeeeeda huggg..

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Friday, September 26, 2003

As mad as it sounds,I think I really miss going to school and rushing for assignments. Right now I am feeling lost, I don't know what to do or where to go. I think I am supposed to start job hunting for something proper instead of staying on in the brainless retail line...BUT I am really unmotivated to start planning my resume. I am such a slacker, can't stand myself sometimes.

On another note, I felt really sad that mich is gone. For once I miss her lateness haha..no that does not give the rest of you the passport for being late. I guess I just miss someone to whine to, and someone to go party with me. It's time to stop partying for a while.


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Wednesday, September 24, 2003

poor jerri i think i can understand.at least on the work bits. if it makes you feel better i had a 2.5 hr presentation today...ive been working till my body aches and my head hurts. I think ive only slept 8 hrs in total for the past three days, not that i mind very much. I'd rather give up sleep than give up fun things i like to do because i have to make time to work!and i have no breaks, not even after my exams in nov..no public holidays no mid term breaks. my mid year break is a grand total of 12 days whereby my professer has scheduled me to crunch numbers. i really have to brace myself because it'll be non stop like this for a year, and work is always at the back of my mind. to top it off everyone else is working just as hard in my class and i'm just trying my best to keep up. but dont worry jerri, work isnt the most important thing in life so dont forget its ok to stop and smell the roses.

on another note, mich has gone off today. i felt very sad when i watched her leave even tho i didnt cry. i guess maybe cos she was the only one here with me while everyone else was away... i cant wait for everyone to come home for xmas...

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asking what's happening to me? i'm not in too good a state now, to be honest with you. i think i'm unstable. i feel like i'm in the middle of nowhere....i feel almost non-existent, except for the occasional feeling of entrapment. i feel like running on and on and on....doesn't matter where i go, as long as i'm running away from my life. i think i kinda freaked mich out the other day by asking her to make me depress. i've got a scary 1hr presentation tomorrow and i'm not well prepared... haven't even rehearsed once and frankly, at this moment, i dun give a shit. i'm too tired. too tired of trying to hang on and push myself to do more. i just wish i could disappear and not feel anything. and looking at my schedule, i won't be able to do that till after my exams which are at the end of nov. i need a break. i need you girls around me.....
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Sunday, September 21, 2003

Girrls, i just finished season 6 of sex and the city,i cant believe i gotta wait till january till it starts again. First no more futurama ever, now no sex-city. There's nothing else funny on the kazaa. I dont think i will ever smile again.

I'm having madness-insomnia. Its 6.30 am and i havnt slept a wink. OK i shall just while my last hour writing you lar-lings a letter. I miss having all of you around at once.

Mich:you are leaving soon..you should make a speech so that you can look in this diary two years later and remember how you felt. Who is going to wear weird clothes with me after you are gone? I'll have to storage all my odd things now. Remember to pack yr jellybean sweater. :(
G: You're my dear friend, hang in there. x.
Hui: I think i miss you the most cos i hardly get to talk to you. Quick, tell me whats happening with you these days. Hows your Ben, the house and your fatcat and work and Lianghui and everything?
Qya: hullo?

im grummmps and im so very sleepy.why cant i be one of those little old ladies that fall asleep like*snapsnap*

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I don’t know if it was real or in a dream
Lately waking up I’m not sure where I’ve been
There was a table set for six and five were there
I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
Laughter like a language I once spoke with ease
But I’m made mute by the virtue of decision
And I choose most of your life goes on without me
Oh the fear I’ve known
That I might reap the praise of strangers
And end up on my own
All I’ve sown was a song but maybe I was wrong

I said to you the one gift which I’d adore
The package of the next 10 years unfolding
But you told me if I had my way I’d be bored
Right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding
When we last talked we were lying on our backs
Looking at the sky through the ceiling
I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
Trying to read the greek upon the stars
The alphabet of feeling
Oh I knew back then
It was a calling that said if joy then pain
The sound of the voice these years later
Is still the same

I am alone in a hotel room tonight
I squeeze the sky out but there’s not a star appears
Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
And I’m working through the grammar of my fears
Oh mercy what I won’t give
To have the things that mean the most
Not to mean the things I miss
Unforgiving the choice still is
The language or the kiss

~ language of the kiss, the indigo girls


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Saturday, September 06, 2003

hey g,

i feel horrid that i cant make it for dinner tonigt....and if i tell u y, it will just be another excuse but come back soon and we will hang out b4 i leave yaaaaa. have loads of fun in aus
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Friday, September 05, 2003

to not much shock and horror, i am *realllllly* turning into an old lady! ive been falling asleep during excellant dvds recently and thats a recent phenomena. yesterday i fell asleep watching early horror show The Mask Of Satan, which was soosoo funny. today i woke up at 7pm. and i dreamt i had kidney failure to boot. you fellas better prepare to visit me the nursing home soon. :(

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Monday, September 01, 2003

hi lovelies! thank so much for keeping me updated with all your episodes. wish i could join in. i laughed so hard i had problems breathing.... esp the part about gayle getting stuck....gayle, you need to get more rugged! you're turning into a yuppie!! and you all looked gorgeous.... both gayle and qingya's hair definitely looked rebonded so no need to obsess about it kinking up.

and i think it's funny how you girls called me in the middle of the am, and i hardly spoke to stel and mich. but it was a very pleasent surprise. all these recent updates made me miss u guys so much, i'm thinking of delaying my PR application just so i can go back to s'pore end of this year just to see all of you...BUT , it's just a thought... i haven't decided what to do yet. will mich is back end of the year? if it's the whole gang except me, i'll prob go back...maybe i'm just home sick now.

anyway, gayle will be back here soon...so we'll talk and see how it goes.
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