Thursday, September 27, 2001
hey girls
i'm feeling ultimately depressed once again... it''s school work again i supposed. and what so terrible is that no one is capable to comfort me and make me feel better... and i wont even listen unless im sure tt i can really trust the advice given to me. and in this case...only talking to lect. might help. but they dont give a shite anyway.... sigh i'm so depressed over school... i realise tt i can never be a commercial designer cos i'm too passionate about being creative and different so the only way i can head is to be one of those poseur shitheads that sit ard and create stuff for the rest of the online designe community to gawk at.[a starving artist?[... i just feel really lost. and i hate every bit of shit i'm doing now. but i still have to do it in order to pass...... i think of my diploma show and i feel sick cos i know my work is just going to blend in with the others and i hate tt... all my class mates are so enthusiatic to do our next project ...i wonder where they get their passion from... cos i realise tt in yr 3 u will only lose out if ure too passionate. the worst thing is that i'm not even capable of producing average work now....i'm just recycling or lifting ideas.........i feeeeeeeellll terrible..... and there is no one i know tt can really help me outtt...sob. there is really nothing for me to look forward to..i dun even know if i should continue 2 study overseas...i dont want to waste my parents money only to do 4 more yrs of what i'm doing right now and end up back in square 1.i cant see myself working as well......i feel like just wasting away as a kindergaten teacher and then i end up being one of those aunties with B.O that still live with their mother at the age of 50.
mich
i'm feeling ultimately depressed once again... it''s school work again i supposed. and what so terrible is that no one is capable to comfort me and make me feel better... and i wont even listen unless im sure tt i can really trust the advice given to me. and in this case...only talking to lect. might help. but they dont give a shite anyway.... sigh i'm so depressed over school... i realise tt i can never be a commercial designer cos i'm too passionate about being creative and different so the only way i can head is to be one of those poseur shitheads that sit ard and create stuff for the rest of the online designe community to gawk at.[a starving artist?[... i just feel really lost. and i hate every bit of shit i'm doing now. but i still have to do it in order to pass...... i think of my diploma show and i feel sick cos i know my work is just going to blend in with the others and i hate tt... all my class mates are so enthusiatic to do our next project ...i wonder where they get their passion from... cos i realise tt in yr 3 u will only lose out if ure too passionate. the worst thing is that i'm not even capable of producing average work now....i'm just recycling or lifting ideas.........i feeeeeeeellll terrible..... and there is no one i know tt can really help me outtt...sob. there is really nothing for me to look forward to..i dun even know if i should continue 2 study overseas...i dont want to waste my parents money only to do 4 more yrs of what i'm doing right now and end up back in square 1.i cant see myself working as well......i feel like just wasting away as a kindergaten teacher and then i end up being one of those aunties with B.O that still live with their mother at the age of 50.
mich
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